Announcements!

First of all, I just want to thank everyone who responded in some way to my last blog post. The views on this blog have more than doubled from just that one piece - to say I was overwhelmed is a bit of an understatement! I have so enjoyed reading all of the discussions that it inspired. I got such great positive feedback and encouraging words from a wide range of people - anyone from Facebook friends to people from all over the world who just happened to stumble across it. I'm glad that I was able to put the experiences of so many into words and help people realize that they are not alone.

So, I'm sorry to those of you who asked for one, but this won't be another post addressing something important - though don't worry, one will surely come. This is, like the title says, some exciting announcements!

After the last post went live, a former classmate and Relay for Life committee member sent me a message. He's now a teacher at a local New Orleans high school and wants to use the post in his sessions with students! So next month, my blog will be used in an educational setting, and the following class period, I'll be coming to talk to the students and discuss race and stereotypes in our society. How cool is that?

Also, the wonderful Trinity Griffin (who is the same Trinity I mentioned in that last post) has nominated me for a Liebster Award!

I'm stealing the description from her blog:

"The Liebster Award is a sweet way of encouraging bloggers with less than 200 followers (like me!). Once you're nominated, you answer 11 questions given to you, nominate 5 more blogs with less than 200 followers, and then ask them 11 questions."

Here are my eleven questions to answer:

1. What is your favorite thing about fall?
My favorite thing about fall back home is all of the beautiful leaves. I also really miss bonfires. Fall in New Orleans...does not exist.

2. What's on your fall playlist?

I don't have one - I don't make playlists by seasons, usually just by what type of music I feel like listening to. But the last Spotify playlist I made was the soundtrack to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

3. Would you rather take a vacation on the East coast or the West coast?
East coast - I have family there!

4. Who is your role model?
My mom. Even a head injury won't stop her from trying to be the best mother and friend possible. (She also has a blog - check her out here!)

5. If your life was a movie, who would you want to play you?
I was actually just asked this question during rush for Phi Sigma Pi. I'd want Keke Palmer to play me - plus, fun fact, her real name is Lauren. So it was meant to be.

Yeah, someone this gorgeous needs to play me.

6. If you had to choose one item of clothing to represent your personality, what would it be?
Jeans. Comfy and versatile, can be dressed up or dressed down! (I'll let you decide if that's a metaphor for my personality or not.)

7. What is your most treasured possession?
I don't know that I have one - but if I did, it would be a book.

8. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A writer. (Hey, it's working!) Figure skater, pop star, and President of the United States were tossed around, too.

9. Heels or flats?
Flats. Dear god, please don't make me walk in stilettos.

10. What fall color best describes your personality?
Purple.

11. Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas? Favorite?
Ooh...Thanksgiving edges out Christmas. I love Christmas, but I always stress out over finding the right gift for people. I just want it to be perfect! But I love Thanksgiving - I get to be with my whole family, the whole house is warm and smells fantastic, there's seasonal music on the stereo, and everyone makes something delicious to eat. Halloween gets an honorable mention, too.

I'll post my nominations and questions in an update soon! 

And the final announcement, reserved for those who have made it through this whole post...

Drumroll, please...

I finished the second draft of my novel! 

Me yesterday after I typed the last word. 

That's why there's an update today and there wasn't one yesterday - yesterday I was hard at work on the last few pages of that draft, and I am proud to say that it's complete! It took me one year and ended up being much longer than I anticipated (343 pages and over 100,000 words), but I am so incredibly happy to actually have a result of all of my hard work.

It's not completely done yet - I'll be beginning the editing process soon. It needs to be read over for continuity, to make sure all of the characters have strong, individual voices, etc. But that won't take as long as actually writing it did. 

Then, after that...who knows? With any luck, it'll end up on your bookshelf. :)

Why acting "White" is ridiculous

Today I'm going to take a bit of a different approach on this blog. Rather than just give you a rundown on what's been happening in my life, I'm going to talk about an issue that's bothered me basically since I was old enough to become aware of it.

I am not like the stereotypical black girls that you see on television. I am terrible at speaking in ebonics (and you really don't want to hear me try). I can't dance, but I will anyway. I'm not from the inner city of anywhere. I don't have a good-for-nothing absent father. I am a nerdy bibliophile from the Midwestern suburbs and I'm damn proud of it. However, there are many times when it seems like my peers - of all colors - are bent on making me realize how I don't conform to what they think I'm supposed to be.

"You know, if someone only heard your voice over the phone, they would never know you were black."
"I mean, no offense or anything, but you do act pretty white."
"You're not really black."

Do tell me more about how the color of my skin is invalidated because of my personality.

When one looks at my background, it's pretty obvious why I don't fit any of the stereotypes people hold. Because my father is a doctor and I'm from a two-parent household - another stereotype busted - I come from an affluent family. The Illinois suburbs where I'm from consist of mostly white people. I attended private school through eighth grade and was usually the only claim to diversity my school had. From 5-7th grade, my friend Trinity and I were the only two black people in the entire grade. It makes sense that my core friend group was mostly white - white was the only thing around me. And while my immediate family and godparents were all black, all of them were people that spoke and acted like me. I was a dreamy kid, but I could read people. I saw how they were acting, heard how they spoke, and I imitated it. Eventually, that became a core part of who I was.

Even then, when I was young, I saw the portrayals of how black people were 'supposed' to be on television. I was hyper-aware of the fact that I didn't fit that mold, and it bothered me. These were the only people that looked like me on television - was that the way that I was supposed to act? Was there something wrong about me because I didn't act this way?

When I hit high school, it was made obvious to me that according to both white and black people, apparently, there was.

Public high school was the first time in my life that there was actually a substantial population of black people at the school I attended. Even though I was then able to surround myself with black people, my core friend group remained mostly white. The reason why was simple - that's who I was most comfortable with. The majority of the other black girls at school never ceased to point out how I didn't speak like them, that I acted too 'proper,' that I was too white to be black - that I did not match their idea of 'blackness'.

I got used to snickers and rolled eyes when I spoke or didn't understand a reference they made. After my freshman year, I learned to avoid saying anything in front of them, because I knew that the moment I did, my voice and opinion would be ridiculed. I didn't understand why I was being made fun of - I was black just like they were. How, then, was I acting white when all I was doing was being myself? If I was black, shouldn't the way I was acting be called acting 'black,' too?

The same label of 'other' was placed on me by my white peers as well, but always in a more subtle way and usually with no ill-intentions - though they would never understand the negative effect their words had. Someone would remark that they didn't know any black people, and when I pointed out that they knew me, the response would be, "Well, yeah, but you're not really black." Innocent conversations would leave me out - my white friends could try out hairstyles on each other or share makeup or talk about tanning. None of those hairstyles would work with my curls, their makeup would have looked absolutely ridiculous on my skin, and there was no way that I needed to get any darker. The rise of social media already pointed out to me with every group picture that I was the lone dark face among my friends.

Prom 2011, exhibit A - gee, I wonder which one is me?

Worse were conversations where people would somehow 'forget' I was black. I still remember vividly one break during a shift at the water-park where I was a lifeguard. Normally, people sat quietly around the table for their ten minute break and ate a snack or refilled their water bottles. This time, however, several of the other lifeguards were complaining about how black people couldn't swim and always had to be saved. I stared at them, wide-eyed, waiting for them to remember that I was sitting there - but they never did. "I'm right here!" I finally said incredulously. "Clearly black people can swim since I became a lifeguard."

There was an awkward silence filled only by the buzzing of the air conditioning unit.

"Well, yeah," said one of them, leaning against the wall and giving me a pitying look, "but you're not really black, are you?"

Eventually, I understood the place society had given me - I was too black to be white and too white to be black. What I didn't understand was where that left me.

I didn't become truly comfortable with the balance between who I was and who society expected me to be until I went away to college. Immediately, during the first week, I found other girls like me - the token black girls in their friend groups who were made fun of for being too white, the Oreos.

Tokens unite.

While I had been loved and accepted by my friends from home, who are absolutely wonderful people, it was with this new group of friends that I finally felt understood. It made me realize that there was another way to act 'black' - our way. Then my thoughts went one step further - why on earth did we label the way people acted with color, and why was the way to act 'black' so constricted?

There's more than one way to "act white," to use that flawed terminology. You can be a valley girl or a punk. You can be a skater or a prep. You can be a redneck or a city slicker. You can be a nerd. You can be a jock. The possibilities of what society considers 'white' are endless.

Black people are not allowed this same privilege. There are only two ways to 'act black' according to mainstream America. One is to buy into the gangster culture that is performed on televisions and radios everyday. The other is to fit into the idea of the "good, churchgoing black folk," the lens that Hollywood uses when it attempts to prove that it can portray black people positively.

If you don't fit into either of those two categories, which many people don't, congratulations - you have just been labeled as white. Your skin color and the prejudices that come with it are irrelevant. The racism you will still inevitably experience is irrelevant. Your family history and personal culture - irrelevant. You are not really black. You do not fit neatly into the box.

These categories aren't just limited, they're demeaning. For example, they imply that to be articulate and use the accepted grammatical structure of English is incompatible with blackness - this is a solely white characteristic. "White" encompasses the majority of ways that people can act, as if those with light skin have a monopoly on all of the ways to be. "Acting white" erases not just black culture, but all minority cultures that are just as present in the United States.

It has taken me twenty years, but I'm finally able to be happy outside of the box society created for me. People still attempt to force me to fit their perceptions - just two weeks ago I got the "You're a very white person" comment from someone when he was told that no, I cannot twerk, and when I say I'm from outside Saint Louis, the stock response from people who know the area, is "Oh, East Saint Louis?" Although those comments annoy me to no end, they don't make me feel uneasy anymore.

I am who I am. I am my own version of black. And anyone who can't grasp that can get out of my way. 

Back to Hogwarts...I mean, Tulane.

I've returned to blogging!

I had intended to start again two weeks ago, but weekends just kept coming and going and let's face it, I am a lazy girl at heart. Plus even though I had some down time when I first moved in, I have once again become incredibly busy. Welcome Week preparation, the beginning of classes, and Welcome Week itself kind of took over my life. And I had to face another end - the end of being an Orientation Team Leader.

My first two weeks back in the States were mostly spent prepping for Welcome Week with the rest of the OTLs. My specific role was social media/marketing, so I had a lot less to do than the OTLs who actually had an event coming up to plan. All of the disparities in amount of work to do meant that we worked on our own time rather than coming into the office, which meant that I had more free time than I knew what to do with.

I'm going to let you in on a (not-so-secret) secret. I am the worst person ever when it comes to free time. I'm used to running around to multiple places a day, having a ton of things to do, and a strict structure to my day that means I actually get my ish done. Free time means I spend way too much time on YouTube and end up with five days straight of being unproductive.

Which means that this huge list of things for the OTLs to do makes me happy.

Training for the OCs (Orientation Coordinators) began the Thursday before Welcome Week. The OCs are the ones who actually take the freshmen to every WW event, have one-on-one time with them during the week, and put on events for the group that they're in charge of. The first day of OC training was held at the Audubon Zoo, which meant that we all got to get out of the freezing Student Affairs office and spend time outside! (Though, thankfully, not the whole day outside. It was too dang hot for that.)

Introducing ourselves to the OCs

OTLs take great candid photos.

Before we knew it, training was over, it was 8AM Saturday morning, and the Class of 2017 and their parents were taking over campus.

Move-in day is best described as organized chaos, as anyone who has ever moved into college on that designated day knows. Students show up with U-Hauls for a dorm room that's half the size of their room at home, parents are trying to cope with their son or daughter leaving home and are overly emotional, no one knows their way around campus, parking is a nightmare...and the OTLs, OCs, and move-in volunteers all signed up for this mess willingly. I think we're all insane.

I was in charge of the OCs and move-in volunteers for Wall and Paterson along with another OTL, Pam. I was lucky enough to have great people - everyone was really hardworking and on top of whatever they were supposed to do, which helped every time five cars full of stuff all pulled up to the dorms at the same time. It kept threatening to rain - sometimes it would drizzle and torment us with the thought that it was about to storm and soak everything - but miracle of miracles, it actually held off.

After the five hour chaos of move-in, the OTLs had about an hour to go home, shower, and change for the President's Convocation. I got to carry one of the seven gonfalons down the aisle to begin convocation, which was pretty awesome...even though I tripped. (But I'm pretty sure only the people in the front row saw. Or I hope so.)

Gonfalon and the chance to wear a new dress!

Looking very academic and official in my robes.

After convocation there was a reception for all freshmen and their families with President Cowen, other administrators, and of course the fantastic OTLs that helped to plan their June orientation and Welcome Week. It was great seeing some of my freshmen again, even if I was having trouble remembering names. (Hey, I warned them. Names are not my strong point.)

OTLs with President Cowen!

Lovely lady OTLs

Welcome Week is officially over as of yesterday, and it's weird to think that I won't be spending the bulk of my time with the other OTLs anymore. I got sappy in my last post about the end of Exeter, so I'm going to avoid that here, but this was a great group of people to work with and I have loved my job.

In the midst of all of this Orientation stuff going on, my apartment was becoming a home, too. All three of my suite-mates have now moved in and we bought decoration and extra furniture for the apartment. It's now a lot less sterile and white, though there's still a bit of work to do. We've even cooked! (Multiple times, which I'm sure is a shock to my family who never sees me in the kitchen.)

Roommate date to a food truck festival!

The bookshelf that Emily and I bought and assembled ourselves. 

It's an actual real dinner that we made!

I really like my classes so far, though I can tell that they're all going to be a lot of work. Thankfully, I'll only be in class Tuesday through Thursday, which gives me a lot of time to work (I officially started freelance writing for Kicker!) and go to my internship. I foresee hundreds of pages being written this semester...especially since there's that novel I'm working on, too, which recently hit 300 pages! Thank god I like writing.

Some highlights from the past week in pictures, since this blog post is already pretty long:

Allyson with a 1-day-old alligator at Reily Rocks, the first WW event

On-campus concert Sunday - STRFKR

Flash mob at Monday's New Student Welcome!

Actual people at a Tulane home football game

We won, we won!

My strawberry/pineapple snoball from the year's first Fridays at the Quad

Friday's Riverboat Cruise - last Welcome Week event!

Westboro Baptist Church crashed the Southern Decadence celebrations. They were laughed at.

My aim is to make a new post every Sunday from now on. I feel like I'll definitely have enough to talk about for each week. I also changed the title and revamped the side bar a little bit - check it out!